This episode begins our series on Alex Jones, starting with his pre-9/11 shenanigans. We cover his illuminating thoughts on Waco, the Oklahoma City bombing, and how the UN is stealing our national parks for some reason. We conclude with Jones' infiltration of the Cremation of Care ceremony at Bohemian Grove.
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The Origin of Alex Jones
Perhaps the most surprising fact we’ll cover in this whole series is the very first fact; Alex Jones was born in 1974 in Dallas, TX, making him 45 years old. His father was a dentist and his mom a homemaker, and he grew up in the Dallas suburb of Rockwall.
I was the all-American kid with a great family. I read Time-Life books, played football, was friends with everybody.
While friends of his parents were members of the John Birch Society, his home was mostly apolitical. He got his real taste of authoritarian power in high school. Jones says that local police officers would sell his friends weed, Ecstasy, and cocaine, sometimes while still in uniform. During football practice the next day, they would come and drug test the young athletes. Jones was not enthused about the hypocrisy,
I was like, ‘You want to drug-test me, when I know you’re selling the stuff?’ I called them the mafia to their face. At the time, I didn’t know anything about CIA drug-dealing.
In sophomore year of high school, Jones himself was in trouble with the law. He was caught driving without a license and a six-pack of beer under the passenger seat. His response, according to Alexander Zaitchik of Rolling Stone, was to “[tell] the cop he was corrupt and had no right to enforce the laws.”
Despite this show of bravado, Jones was let off without a warning. Jones’ father did not react well to his sons brush with the law, and moved the family to Austin as a result. But Jones would have the last laugh; the Rockwall County sheriff was charged with affiliation with organized crime. After settling into his new Austin high school, Jones quit football and smoking weed because “it made me paranoid”. He also began reading history, including Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire by Gibbon and Rise and Fall of the Third Reich by Shirer. But the most important book Jones read at this time was None Dare Call It Conspiracy by Gary Allen, a prominent member of the John Birch Society. Zaitchick does a good job of summarizing None Dare Call It Conspiracy, so I’ll let him take it from here,
According to None Dare, the federal income tax is nothing but a plot by a cabal of megarich “insiders” who work to suck the middle class dry and transfer its wealth to the Ford and Rockefeller foundations. As a teenager, Jones read the book twice. “It’s still the easiest-to-read primer to the New World Order,” he says.
Between Feb. 28- April 19, 1993 the U.S. federal law enforcement, Texas state law enforcement, and U.S. military led a siege on a compound belonging to a religious cult called the Branch Davidians. The cult was suspected of stockpiling weapons so the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms (known as the ATF) obtained a search warrant for the compound.
The leader of the religious cult was David Koresh and the ATF obtained an arrest warrant for him and a few of the cult’s leaders as well. As the ATF attempted to raid the compound a gun battle erupted. This resulted in the deaths of six Branch Davidians and four government agents. Eventually the FBI raided the compound with tear gas. During the raid a fire broke out resulting in the deaths of 76 Branch Davidians, including David Koresh. The US government maintains that the fire was started by members of the church. After this horrible event, years later we were finally able to move on as a nation. Oh wait … nevermind.
Enter Alex Jones: In 1998, Alex Jones put together a successful campaign to construct a brand new Branch Davidian church. Jones did this as a memorial to those who died during the 1993 fire which ended the siege of the Branch Davidian church near Waco, Texas. Jones advertised the project for the new church on his public-access television program. He claimed that the cult leader David Koresh and his cult were peaceful people who were murdered by the ATF and Attorney General Janet Reno.
Speaking of Jones defending cults I was curious, but unable to find anything, if Alex Jones has ever commented on Jim Jones or cooked up some conspiracy regarding the People’s Temple cult.
Oklahoma City Bombing
At 9:02am on April 19, 1995 a bomb went off at the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. The domestic terrorist attack was perpetrated by Timothy McVeigh and Terry Nichols. The attack killed 168 people, injured 680 people, while destroying one-third of the building. Timothy McVeigh visited Waco, Texas during the ATF raid on the Koresh compound. He was deeply affected by the death of 80 people saying to the government that “all you tyrannical people will swing in the wind one day for your treasonous actions.”
Alex Jones was not satisfied with the official story of the OKCB. He smelled a cover-up by the government saying, “I understood there’s a kleptocracy working with psychopathic governments — clutches of evil that know the tricks of control” Jones also stated that the OKCB was a “false flag” committed by the government to frame the right and to aid Bill Clinton in the 1996 presidential election. He called it a “staged event” by “criminals in Washington.”
In 2011 Jones said of OKCB, “They needed to go after the states’ rights movement. They needed to demonize the growing militia movement.”
On the Alex Jones Show August 25th, 2016, Jones said,
Now let’s talk about Oklahoma City. Let’s talk about Oklahoma City. Oklahoma City was a total false flag with NATO, the ATF, and the CIA and the FBI. And we know the names of the men from the witnesses in the building, from the police officers, and from the declassified information that came out. The bombs in the building.
In a 2002 film by Alex Jones called 9/11 The Road to Tyranny. (that we will be talking about more in depth later, Jones claims OKCB was a “staged event” and one of many false flag events throughout history. Jones is so confident about this assertion that he said “we’ve never had one so open and shut.” He also said that “Federal Fingerprints Were All Over” the Oklahoma City Bombing; and that Clinton “Needed A Crisis” To Enact Gun Laws And A “Socialized America.”
Speaking more on the OCB conspiracy, on 4/10/15 on YouTube Alex Jones said that the Justice Department “Did It To Blame Us, It’s A Frame-Up. … The Real Criminals In Washington, They Blow Up Daycare Centers And Blame It On Us.”
A Noble Lie
Jones’ website posted videos promoting the film titled “A Noble Lie”. The film begins with this quote from Plato’s Republic “A Noble Lie - Refers to the propping up of a myth in order to “maintain social harmony” and keep the elite in their present position.”
Then we get a slew of random people saying the official story is not the accurate one. No one is identified so you are left wondering who are these people. Eventually they are identified but after they’ve already been talking. Weird. An eye witness to the bombing says you could not see anything there was so much dust and it “smelled like sulfur” …
The OKC office of the ATF was located in the Murrah building which is why it was targeted since the bombers were upset about ATF’s handling of the siege on the Branch Davidian compound. The film points out that no ATF officers were killed that day. The narrator asks, “Was the ATF office empty that morning?” An anonymous man whose wife was in the building says he called the ATF and they told him that none of the ATF officers were in the building that day and that “they were tipped by their pages that morning not to come into work.”
We are told it would be ridiculous to believe the claims of a few ATF agents who say they were there during the attack and rescued multiple people from the rubble.
The first quarter of this doc is about all the supposed prior knowledge about the bomb threat. Also, the film states that McVeigh didn’t act alone and that many eyewitnesses saw other suspicious men leaving the scene that morning. One of the bodies wasn’t accounted for in the OKCB rubble, According to Fred Jordan, an Oklahoma State Medical Examiner, “We have 8 people with traumatically amputated left legs, however, we have nine left legs. We have one leg too many.”
Jones makes an appearance about 30 minutes into the film saying that the OKCB was one of the first big stories he covered,
It was just shocking to know it was an inside job and to know that the media was involved in the coverup. And that the mainstream television stations there in OKC knew what had really happened. And then years later I was able to talk to some of those reporters and they discussed how they were told to shut up. I mean it just showed how people were so willing to be part of the cover up because the truth was so frightening.
Sen. Oklahoma Republican Charles Key asks,
Who’s going to investigate the investigators? Who’s going to investigate the prosecutors?
At about the midpoint of the film they focus on Terrance Yeakey, who was an OKC police officer who “knew too much”. He ran over to help people after the blast. He rescued several people. According to the film, in the weeks following the bombing this officer…
…knew that something was horribly wrong and tried to get the official storyline out… and he chose to withhold some of the storyline because he was in fear of, for his family, his wife and his two young daughters.
He was brutally murdered a mile and a half away from the front gate of the El Reno penitentiary. From that moment that his body was found we know that the crime scene was destroyed.
The official cause of death was ruled a suicide. In reality Yeakey had serious family problems and suffered from PTSD from the OKC bombing. In a NYT article journalist speak with several of his friends and it paints a much more thorough picture of Yeakey’s suicide.
This film wants you know know this - Charles Key, Republican Senator for Oklahoma is a goddamn hero. He started a The O.G. - OKBIC “Oklahoma Bombing Investigation Committee”. A hodgepodge of random unqualified Oklahoma citizens to investigate the REAL evidence to uncover the cover up! A heading flashes, “Explosive Evidence”, the film states that “the only consistent theme of the official narrative is its inconsistency.”
Apparently there were other explosions. Don Browning and OKC police officer says “a blast does not turn corners. And It did look like there was a secondary explosion or a more intense explosion towards the east side of the building.” The bomb blast crater doesn’t match up to the blast or something. So it was a demolition job. It wasn’t just one truck bomb. According to this film, there were apparently bombs strapped to various concrete columns. The FBI laboratory told LIES about the explosion! Some people supposedly yelled “Second bomb!” during the explosion. So you know that’s reliable.
The narrator asks, “who planted these bombs and had access to the Murrah building before the bombing?” The suggestion is the ATF. Craig Roberts, says, “day one hour two of the bombing the most significant event that happened is when they said they found other bombs in the building.” He says the second most significant event is when there were people still trapped in the building a couple trucks pulled up and people with “blue jackets with no letters on the back” started taking boxes of files out of the building loading them onto the truck.
So for some context Craig Roberts is introduced by the film as a “police officer”. This is true but what it doesn’t mention is that he’s also the author of multiple books on the JFK assasination and the coverup. He has a book called the Medusa File which outlines the full conspiracy of the OKC bombing.
V.Z. Lawton, a bombing survivor asks, “You remember the White Water investigation in Arkansas? All the paperwork was stored in the Murrah building. They had FBI agents over in the fields west of the Murrah building picking up paper almost all day long.”
We learn more about the John Doe number 2. A German by the name of Andreas Strassmeir. Who was supposedly snuck through Mexico then flown back to Germany after the bombing. Apparently McVeigh was sited in Elohim City 8 weeks before the attack. What’s Elohim City? Think: a white supremesist safe space.
The CIA was spying on Elohim City. The film talks about PATCON and how it was an FBI program to infiltrate every neonazi group or as the film puts it “every militia group, every neonazi group, every group critical of the government in the United States.”
A bombing survivor Jane Graham says she saw people placing putty on the columns at the Murrah building and streaming wires between the pillars. Strassmeir was there going over the plans with these men.
Surveillance cameras are the smoking gun! The film ends with its most powerful punch! The film states that the surveillance films show that there were multiple bombers! But the tapes have been lost! We are then introduced to Charlie Rose. This Charlie Rose is with Legend Video Transfer! The FBI hired him to duplicate 400 tapes of the OKC bombing. He says, “Each FBI agent was required to stay in the room with each of us that were in that room. We really didn’t have the opportunity to sit back and watch the videos!”
In the last minutes of the film Alex Jones explains that if you look at Lee Harvey Oswald and Timothy McVeigh and “other patsys they are very similar. They are in the military. They’ve got security clearances.” According to Jones, McVeigh was doing covert missions for the military and infiltrating these militias and right wing groups and preparing to set them up. Then eventually he learned that he was the guy that got set up.
Jones mentions Dr. John Smith who was the protege to Dr. Jolyon West Aka: “Mr. Mind Control” was McVeigh’s doctor in prison.
You couldn’t make this up in a spy novel. Truth is always stranger than fiction. And it’s all hidden in plain view.
The narrator asks, “Was the bombing the product of a sting gone out of control with McVeigh taking the blame for a series of government failures?” Jones suggests this OKCB inside job was carried out to pass the omnibus antiterrorism act. Jones says,
We see amazing parallels between Oklahoma City and 9/11. And we see it also being used as a mass conditioning tool to launch a new war. In the case of Oklahoma City a war against the American people. In the case of 9/11 a war against the middle east and an invasion for resources.
Alex Jones ends the film by saying,
In the months and weeks building up to the OKC bombing there was incredible conditioning on the news. These people are scared of the federal government. They’re terrorists. They’re gonna kill you. They’re going to bomb you. You watch, it’s gonna happen. And sure enough it happened. And then you look at the evidence and government and black ops fingerprints are all over it. The establishment gonna have trouble in the future orchestrating further atrocities like Oklahoma city because the public is now really getting wise to their tricks. Oklahoma city is one of the best examples we’ve got where we can prove clearly that official story was a fraud, that the government was involved, and is using it to demonize good americans.
UN Takeover of National Parks
Most of the documentary involves Alex Jones visiting national parks and haranguing tourists and park rangers about how the UN is stealing our public land from us. These include Organ Pipe Cactus National Monument, Yellowstone, the Rocky Mountains, and the Grand Canyon. So, what is all this about the UN owning these parks? It all has to do with UNESCO’s “International Biosphere Reserve” project.
Biosphere reserves are areas comprising terrestrial, marine and coastal ecosystems. Each reserve promotes solutions reconciling the conservation of biodiversity with its sustainable use.
For our purposes, an important point of clarification has to do with the sovernty of these locations,
Biosphere reserves are nominated by national governments and remain under the sovereign jurisdiction of the states where they are located. Their status is internationally recognized.
Of course, that’s just what they want you to think.
At Jones’ first stop at Organ Pipe Cactus National Monument, he says this project started in 1968, and the Organ Pipe Cactus National Monument itself came under international control in 1976. However, this control didn’t have “teeth until 1996 with an executive order from Bill Clinton. I’m not sure where he is getting this because the International Biosphere Reserve program didn’t start until 1983.
The Executive Order in question is EO 12986. Despite the importance this EO has, Jones never bothers to read the damn thing in the doc so instead we are going to have to.
By virtue of the authority vested in me as President by the Constitution and the laws of the United States, including sections 1 and 14 of the International Organizations Immunities Act (22 U.S.C. 288 et seq., as amended by section 426 of the Foreign Relations Authorization Act, Fiscal Years 1994 and 1995, Public Law 103–236), I hereby extend to the International Union for Conservation of Nature and Natural Resources the privileges and immunities that provide or pertain to immunity from suit. To this effect, the following sections of the International Organizations Immunities Act shall not apply to the International Union for Conservation of Nature and Natural Resources:
Section 2(b), 22 U.S.C. 288a(b), that provides international organizations and their property and assets with the same immunity from suit and judicial process as is enjoyed by foreign governments.
Section 2(c), 22 U.S.C. 288a(c), that provides that the property and assets of international organizations shall be immune from search and confiscation and that their archives shall be inviolable.
Section 7(b), 22 U.S.C. 288d(b), that provides the representatives of foreign governments in or to international organizations and the officers and employees of such organizations with immunity from suit and legal process relating to acts performed by them in their official capacity and falling within their functions.
This designation is not intended to abridge in any respect privileges, exemptions, or immunities that the International Union for Conservation of Nature and Natural Resources may have acquired or may acquire by international agreements or by congressional action.
Alex Jones then pesters a park ranger about all this. He shows him a photo of a sign leading into Mammoth Cave, a World Heritage Site and International Biosphere Reserve. Apparently, the local community didn’t like the sign so they took it down. AJ thinks they are just hiding the “Executive Order” that the UN actually owns these places so the rubes don’t get excited.
At every park he goes to, he makes a very big deal about the bronze plaques which display information about the International Biosphere Reserve designation. Jones thinks these plaques are certificates of ownership, and are hidden from the public by being placed in weird out-of-the-way parts of the park.
While visiting Olympic National Park, people at the park treated Jones and his crew like “2-headed demons”. This was after he interviewed a guy with the National Forest Service inquiring about the UN signs. He explains that’s a national park thing. Jones says “Yeah but you’re all under Babbit?” (the Interior Secretary). The guy has to explain no, he’s under Agriculture.
But before he leaves, he has a message for “the establishment”. This consists of a montage of Janet Reno , various masked governmental thugs, and quick cuts between Clinton and Hitler while a bizarre pop cover of “Cold Dead Hands” by Dustin Collins with different lyrics plays in the background. (Possibly sung by Alex Jones himself?)
Jones also visits Yellowstone National Park, which is, of course, under UN control. He is very upset by plans to make Yellowstone totally car free, only allowing bus traffic, and that certain areas are restricted. Why does the UN care if you drive a car through Yellowstone? Because the real goal is to “get you used to being told what to do” If they can get you to accept car restrictions and increased park fees, who know what they can get you to do! The real issue is, somehow, private property rights… to a public park. Private property is the bulwark of freedom.
Because the “higher ups” wouldn’t let him film without a permit, he compared the park to a military encampment. And of course he finds the UN sign which is a certificate of ownership. These were “discreetly hidden” in the back of the theater. Jones is able to interview some tourists, but other aren’t as enthused, so Alex Jones just yells at them about the UN stealing our cactuses.
You see that right there? They talk about a Hollywood movie rather than the bronze plaque and the executive order. That is what is wrong with America, ladies and gentlemen.
Lastly, Alex Jones visits Rocky Mountain National Park. Guess what, it’s also owned by the UN. They even have a map! Once they get us used to car restrictions and more fees, in ten years they will subdivide the parks and sell them to the corporations.
Jones interviews a park ranger who agrees with him about local control. But then she talks about how fee increases are great and a lot of the money stays within the park. Jones cuts the interview off here for some reason. He later says she never heard of the Bronze Plaque even though she says she did in the interview.
Chinese Communists Buy Our Ports
In Southern California, Alex Jones visits the Long Beach Naval Weapons Shipyard, which was decommissioned in 1993. What’s wrong with that, you ask? What’s wrong is that they are letting the communist Chinese take over in the form of COSCO. Alex Jones was denied access to the facility even though it is being decommisioned. He was told he had to call “The Navy” to get permission. They never returned his calls. So, what’s the story? Well, the port was going to be leased to COSCO, which was in fact run by the Chinese. While the lease was awarded, it was cancelled after locals got pissed off.
Alex Jones then visits the George AirForce Base in Victorville, where the Chinese bought land to build wholesale Chinese markets. The City Manager Sakamoto notes that it’s a hard call for him to make when large companies like Nike and IBM have set up factories in China.
The problem is the trilateralist system! The are going for SLAVERY! They are deindustrializing the US to weaken us, and the rest of the world is under IMF and World Bank control. CFR, Trilateral Commission, and the Bilderbergers are the three horseman of the New Slavery.
Now Alex Jones is mad at toll booths, especially the K-Tag system. It’s a transponder you put in your care that automatically takes care of tolls. He says this is going to turn us into slaves for some reason.
EVIL MODEL UN
So Alex Jones ends the documentary visiting a Model UN session, which is, of course, indoctrinating and training the youth of America that the UN and world government is just swell. We have no resources to teach students about the US Constitution, but apparently there are unlimited funds to teach about the UN.
He interviews some children who think the UN is great and an effective way to achieve world peace. Alex Jones’ contempt for these children is palpable,
Helpless young people yielding themselves to the elite’s hands.
He starts talking to the Secretary General of the Model UN, asking him when the different Model UNs were started. But then Jones says he was WRONG as if he was talking about the UN. Jones even says that the League of Nations is when the UN really started which is dumb as fuck. Jones brings up Kurt Waldheim, the 4th Secretary General of the UN from 1972 to 1981, and says he was an SS officer and death camp operator. That isn’t exactly true but he definetly has a shadier past that came to light later in life. He was part of the SA before it was disbanded and the Wehrmacht afterwards, but there is no indication he was in the SS. Jones also discusses human rights abuses by Belgian army officers in Somalia during a UN peace keeping mission, including roasting a child alive and forcing captives to drink saltwater. Jones said this wasn’t reported in the mainstream media, and he’s right. I had to go to the best source of alternative media, CNN.
Alex Jones ends with him attending a protest of a Texas plan to require thumbprints to receive a Driver’s License. He then plays a newsclip of him getting arrested at the DMV. This includes him saying, in response to being told that he needs to have his thumb scanned in order to get an ID, “I feel like I’m being raped”. He also compares it to the Mark of the Beast.
A woman then is shown getting her driver’s license and says the protestors are “weird.” But Alex Jones isn’t weird! This is part of the “International Tracking Grid”! Just look at what Lockheed are doing! Alex Jones is also upset about Bill Clinton’s EO to begin a plan to drug test people 18 and under before they get a driver’s license. This, by the way, is totally true.
One of my all-time favorite documentarians, authors, and journalists, Jon Ronson, made a documentary called The Secret Rulers of the World, released in four parts for Channel Four on BBC. It was released in five parts from April to May in 2001. The documentary also came out around the same time that Ronson released his book Them: Adventures with Extremists.
Part one of the documentary is about a tragic incident about a conspiratorial and white seperatist family in Ruby Ridge near Naples, Idaho which, after engaging in an intermittent shootout and standoff with the government, ultimately ended with two family members and their dog being killed by Federal agents. This was something of a precursor to Waco, and one of the reasons Timothy McVeigh used to justify his act of terrorism.
Part two of the documentary is about nutjob David Icke, who is famous for believing that lizard people from another dimension rule the world (and that’s just scratching the surface). The segment focuses on Icke’s background, his day to day speaking engagements, and the parallels between Icke’s ideology (for lack of better word) and antisemitic tropes. Ronson also follows left wing activist groups that try to shutdown Icke with mixed success.
Part 3 is about Timothy McVeigh and part 5 is about the Bilderberg Group, which was the apex of power of the New World Order back when things were more innocent. Nowadays, clearly the apex of the New World Order are blue haired college students and big tech companies, if the modern rhetoric is any indication.
But the part that concerns us at this portion of the episode is part four, titled The Satanic Shadowy Elite?, in which Ronson follows Alex Jones as he attempts to break into Bohemian Grove, an elite men’s club in Monte Rio, California.
Despite being as kind and even-handed as possible in documenting Alex Jones’ insane adventures in The Secret Rulers of the World, Ronson would later go on to describe Alex Jones as,
...basically the most irresponsible man I’ve ever met.
Icke shows up in this part of the documentary giving a slideshow and tells us a bit about what we’re up against,
Now behind these trees, every year in July, the elite: the presidents, past presidents, future, the media owners, the bankers, the business leaders, turn up for a ‘summer camp’ at Bohemian Grove…
Now here’s a picture from Bohemian Grove taken in 1957. Look! Over here, we have uncle Ron! I guess in 1957 he’s still getting on and off his horse! Over here, Tricky Dicky, Richard Nixon! Here they are in Bohemian Grove and both go on to become president of the United States!
Now here’s another picture from Bohemian Grove, taken by a journalist on a long lens. What you’re looking at, during this ‘summer camp’, is a ritual in which the elite of the world, they dress up in long gowns with, like, hoods on. Now what we’ve got here? A forty foot stone owl.
Go back in the ancient world. They used to sacrifice children to a deity called Moloch, or Molek [sp?]. Today, these elite names are still doing ritual sacrifices of children. So we ask the question: how do they symbolize Molek, Moloch, as an owl?
Ronson has a different question: “Could any of this actually be true?” We know that the answer is obviously, “Of course not.” But it’s this very question that leads Ronson to Alex Jones, who plans to be the first person ever to expose, on video, Bohemian Grove’s occult secrets.
According to Alex,
You see, for over a hundred and twenty plus years, in Northern California, in Sonoma County, on a 2,700 acre secluded redwood grove, leaders from around the world -- prime ministers, chancellors, presidents, governors -- travel there to engage in bizarre, ancient, canaanite, Luciferean, Babylon, mystery religion ceremonies.
He also has a perfectly good answer to anyone that simply cannot accept that bankers and politicians are secretly meeting up at a campground in California to ritualistically slaughter children.
Oh, well how could the Aztecs accept sacrificing 10,000 people on some holidays, eating their children’s hearts?! This all real! And we see decadent empires in their final stages of corruption, as they become insane throughout history, engaging in mass murder, when it doesn’t even help their final cause!
Ronson documents Alex going into a store to pick up a suit. There he meets an employee of the store that happens to be a superfan of Infowars. While Alex Jones is trying his new suit on, the superfan tells Ronson, “Well he’s got some opinions that are not mainstream, to say the least. And it’s enjoyable listening to him. Not that I agree with everything he says, mind you, but...” Alex interrupts him and shouts from the dressing room, “Yeah, you wouldn’t be able to sleep at night!”
In a rebuilt church that was destroyed during the Waco massacre, a priest or pastor or whatever, introduces Alex and predicts that Alex, 26 at the time, will be president of the United States by age 36!
Alex shouts from the podium,
Victory is ours against the New World Order! Against the communists and socialists and the bankers that run the whole filthy show! And now that they run the world, or at least the central hubs of power, and the banking establishments, and the dominant media, they plan to sack this country! Are you going to let them!? Feel your ancestors!
After we watch Alex Jones yell at an ex-FBI agent for what feels like an eternity, Ronson tells us that Alex has invited him along to document his journey into infiltrating Bohemian Grove. Ronson says,
I didn’t know whether men like Henry Kissinger and George W. Bush really dress in robes and attend a secret owl burning ceremony in the forests of Northern California, a ceremony said to be called ‘The Cremation of Care’. It was hard to believe, but Alex was intent on discovering the truth.
As we know, much like John Michell’s descriptions of Joe Mellon drilling a hole into his head in order to be high forever, as we discussed in our psychedelic cults series, the British are far too kind in describing unhinged lunatics and their motivations. Alex, being an American, isn’t quite so reciprocal in extending such generosity to our British brethren, referring to Ronson and his camera crew as his “redcoat friends.”
Ronson and his camera crew meet at a motel near the Bohemian Grove with Alex Jones, Alex’s camera crew, and Kelly Rebecca Nichols. Nichols was Alex’s then girlfriend and future wife… and further future ex-wife, whom would eventually create petitions calling for certain Infowars videos to be pulled from YouTube and even alleged that Alex Jones is an abusive narcissist trying to brainwash and take their children away from her on the progressive David Pakman Show.But forget about all that. These were more innocent times.
At the motel, Alex tells Ronson that he wishes he brought a gun. Ronson, being a libtard Brit, asks him, “Why would you want to bring a gun?” Alex responds, “Because they say people have disappeared from here.”
It turns out that Alex has more than just the New World Order to fear. When looking over a map of the area as he tries to figure out his entrypoint, he says he’s afraid he might get shot if he wanders onto somebody’s private property.
After trying to figure out how far into the woods Nichols can go with Alex before he’ll have to leave her behind (this is a men’s only club after all), she tells him she doesn’t want to stay behind in the woods if she doesn’t have a gun. Alex agrees, but brings up another reason why she should stay behind:
There’s no way to hide your beautiful femininity from the goblins.
Nichols cannot stress enough how sad she is that they don’t have guns with them. In fact, the words,“I wish we had guns,” or variations thereof, are said quite a few times during this documentary. Indeed, towards the very end, Alex says that he just can’t wait to cram a gun into the mouth of the New World Order itself!
Back in the motel, Alex isn’t having much luck with his infiltration plans. He’s still having a hard time trying to figure out how to get in without getting shot by farmers or falling off a cliff. But then things start to turn around. From the locals he manages to obtain a map of the Bohemian Grove campgrounds itself and a potential lead. Someone referred to as “Rick the Lawyer” is supposed to know everything about everything about how to get into the grove.
This “Rick the Lawyer” has allegedly infiltrated the grove twice. But why? Did he go in there to expose a secret Satanic cabal to the world? No, he says he did it for fun. Alex meets up with “Rick the Lawyer”. Going over his collection of maps, Alex shows Rick all the different plans he’s concocted. Rick isn’t too impressed and tells Alex that some of his plans would surely get him killed.
After painfully listening to all of Alex’s dumb ideas, Ricks tells him that he’s overthinking it and that the best way to get into the club isn’t through the mountains or over the river. No. The best way to infiltrate the Bohemian Grove, according to Rick, is to just walk in. Rick says all you need to do is wear preppy clothing, nod at the “bored and uninterested” guards, and, yes, just walk right in there. Yup. That’s all you need to do to hang out at the top club of the New World Order uninvited.
Alex is skeptical of Rick’s tips. Paranoia starts to creep in and he asks Ronson,
You think you can trust him? I’m not going to end up tied down to a pentagram with Henry Kissinger’s fat belly hanging over me while he’s necking with a dagger am I?
Alex decides to go along with Rick’s suggestions, but not without a major sense of doubt and dread. Ronson says the paranoia is getting more and more amplified in the lead up to the infiltration. Not only is Alex’ paranoia rubbing off on Ronson, with Ronson starting to have the same suspicious thoughts about Rick as Alex, but Ronson is starting to get paranoid that Alex is getting paranoid about Ronson himself being a NWO plant.
Ronson is also worried that Alex, being Alex, is going to end up hurting himself or hurting someone else during the infiltration. Alex’s attempts to reassure Ronson aren’t very reassuring. He tells Ronson that if his cover is blown, he’ll tell those preppy assholes, “You’d better get away from me or else!” Ronson explains to him that this isn’t preppy talk but threatening talk.
Alex and his cameraman, Mike, practice acting like elitists so they can blend in. They rehearse the script they plan to say as they walk past the bored and uninterested guards. So if you’ve ever wondered how elitists talk, it goes something like this:
Alex: But seriously, David. As fast as microprocessors are starting to move, it’s getting to a molecular level. The question is at what level will just the actual basics of science stop us from making these systems smaller? It’s the entire nanotechnology revolution that I find most dynamic.
Mike: I agree.
Under the aliases David Hancock and Mike Richardson, Alex and Mike get in the car and head off to the Bohemian Grove. On the way there, they suddenly realize that they don’t know anything about their aliases other than their names.
Alex does what he does best and quickly makes up bullshit. He tells Mike (aka David Hancock) that he’s a famous writer. Mike get nervous and asks what he should do if someone asks him to name the title of a book he’s written. Alex just says, “Don’t hesitate!” Mike then stumbles around trying to figure out a title, eventually settling upon The Black Lagoon, his debut novel from the year 1984.
Upon arriving at the club’s entrance, things don’t exactly go to plan. As Ronson says,
It is at this moment that Alex and Mike, for no apparent reason, suddenly change their plan. Instead of walking up the drive as Rick recommended, they dive frantically into the undergrowth at the side of the road.
Despite nearly giving themselves away with their abrupt change in plans and the resulting shenanigans, eventually the two get in. Using his trusty covert mini-camera disguised as a pager on his belt, Mike gets all the footage they came for.
At 1 AM, Alex and Mike return to the motel. They show the footage they got of the Cremation of Care Ceremony. Disappointingly, it turns out the preppy elitists at the Bohemian Grove don’t sacrifice children to Moloch. Instead, it’s some goofy frat boy nonsense where they burn an effigy of a papier-mâché figure referred to as “Care”.
Symbolically, the ceremony means something along the following lines: as world leaders, these pompous, rich, and powerful men carry the cares of the world on their shoulders and, whilst at the Bohemian Grove, they can rid themselves of said care and just relax and have a good time. The ceremony itself is so goofy and over-the-top that it reminds me of something out of the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland.
As they watch the footage in their motel room, Ronson is clearly amused by the whole thing. But Alex, and especially Mike, are totally freaked out. Mike tells Ronson that he was “scared to death.”
Ronson says, “Aren’t they just saying that for two weeks we don’t have to worry about anything?” Alex Jones in unequivocal in his stance: it’s obviously totally satanic and centered around human sacrifice. Ronson points out the obvious in that they’re not burning a real person. Alex says he understands that, but then Mike blurts out, “How do we know!?”
So, what else is in the grove besides the satanic human sacrifice ceremony? Alex and Mike say it’s mostly just a bunch of owl statues and eighty year old men peeing on trees. Mike reminds us that what he’s witnessed and recorded is a huge perversion of everything our theocracy is supposed to stand for: “We’re supposed to be a Christian culture and they’re worshipping an owl god! How do you think that would fly with the American people!” In fact, Mike was so freaked out that the next morning he went to the nearest church and prayed fervently to Jesus.
Ronson tries to calm Mike down and assure him that the whole Cremation of Care thing wasn’t really that scary after all and suggested that maybe he’s just overreacting. But Mike isn’t having it. He says, “I looked the New World Order in the face out there!”
“Wasn’t it just a metaphor?” Ronson asks. Before breaking into an incoherent rant about Waco, Mike’s immediate response is,
To me it doesn’t matter what it was.