Episode 10: Crystal Healing Part 3 - Happy Water Crystals and Other Crystal Pseudoscience

In the final(?) episode of their crystal healing series, Dylan and Brent delve into what the Internet mob's opinions on crystal healing and try to make heads or tails of crystal science, which is far too peer reviewed. The hosts discover that water can read, the indignity of an orbish afterlife, and that violet is for magic.

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What do the people say?

We’ve learned alot about how to take care of your crystals, how they protect and heal you and what the Bible says about crystals. That’s wonderful but you might be wondering what are the people saying about crystal powers? And by “the people” I mean a handful of people on the internet. 

If you go to ask.com and ask “why crystals have healing powers” you’ll get a variety of results. The first is this fun one:

This, like most other psionic topics, is widely debated. However it is well known that they DO work. The simplest answer is that nobody is really sure HOW they work, although there are many theories.

Some other results come up such as, “How Many Types of Healing Crystals Are There?”, A lot of questions about where the power plant is in Pokemon Crystal.

Also “I Know Longer Want My Healing Crystals?” - Which is a question, the answer of course is,

So throw them out. They're minerals and don't need to be disposed of in any particular manner. Leave them by a playground and some kid will happily add them to his/hers interesting rock collection. 

Another question was “How do you clear and restore the healing powers of crystals?” The answer to which is you need to place the crystal in a 100% cotton bag for a week (“or so”) 

Yet another question here: “What is crystal healing used for? The answer is,

Amethyst is said to be useful against acne , atacamite against venereal diseases, agate against ulcers, and lapis lazuli against stroke symptoms. Crystals may also be used to counter environmental hazards. 

Lastly, I’ll share my favorite answer to the question, “What are the powers of different crystals?” Answer,

There is no evidence that crystals have any 'powers'. However it would depend on your own gullibility and which charlatan you care to ask.

Now let’s go to Quora where this question was posed: “What healing crystals help with hopelessness, regret, trouble letting go of things, loneliness, and concentration?” 6 answers. I’ll mention a few of those. 

The first is from Robert Dosa, Crystal Reiki Master/Teacher, Holistic Coach, Lightworker. To answer this question LightMaster Dosa suggests you need a variety of different crystals to help with these things. He lists some crystals. I’ll go through a few but not all of them. 

Rutilated Quartz: this healing crystal is the perfect tool for letting go. On an energetic level, it cleanses and energizes your aura, going straight to the root of your problems and facilitating change.

Smoky Quartz: On an energetic level, helps release old, blocked and stagnant energy in your body. On a mental (psychical) level, this powerful crystal helps you to let go of old patterns and belief systems that block you from achieving your full potential.

Citrine: On an energetic level, is a powerful purifier of negative energy. It encourages you to let go of anything from the past that is not serving your highest good. It also assists in learning, gives mental clarity and personal will, combining mind with will. 

Rose Quartz: is a powerful Crystal that helps with ALL emotional issues! Feelings of loneliness, fear, regret, anger, blame, shame, hopelessness, and ALL issues related to the Heart center, including love, can be released with the help of this Crystal. However, I do NOT recommend using Rose Quartz alone in this process, as what is does is bring the negative emotions to the surface, in order to be released. Sometimes this “nuclear bomb” of feelings can be overwhelming, therefore, this Crystal needs to be used in combination with a Green Colored Crystal, that is used to release the negative emotions. I recommend Green Aventurine, as it is the most powerful Healing Crystal.

Lastly, I’ll end on my favorite answer to this question on Quora. It comes from Rees Fisch, 17-year-old who knows a little about everything. Kinda. He says,

No, healing crystals will not help. Just a scam and a myth.  Try talking to someone about the depression you’re facing, try to look up and see into the future, and do your best every day.

How does crystal healing work according to crystal pseudoscience?

According to Judy Hall, author of The Crystal Bible, no one can say categorically how crystals work. Maybe it has something to do with vibrational resonance or the water and crystalline content of the body? Who knows!

Michael Giegner thinks it has to do with crystals emitting light which interacts with the human body. Crystals produce an energy field which interacts with our energy fields, and this interaction is how they can heal. This can be captured with a Kirilian Camera. Very roughly, this makes super cool pictures of electrical discharge. Is it capturing your energy field? Not really; just skin moisture and contact pressure

Hall also speculates that it has to do with the mineral content of the crystals. Kunzite contains lithium for bipolar, and Malachite contains copper for arthritic discomfort. Giegner also says, as we have already noted, that crystals contain information and radiate energy. The right information and the right carrier will bring the body to balance.

Maybe it’s got something to do with frequency? Every crystal has it’s own special vibration. Because of the orderliness of the structure, the vibration is the same thorughout the crystals and different crystals of the same type. Bringing together crystals of the same type creates a “harmonic convergence” “a coherent, resonant system with a stable frequency template.” This crystal energy can be affected by other kinds of energy, like magnets, color waves, intention, or the power of thought

Let’s get back to Einstein and Quantum physics. Einstein talked about a “unified field theory”. Basically, a single physical theory that incorporated all the forces we know about. Sadly, he was actually a 1000 years too late, because the Mundaka Upanishad has it all figured out:

The sparks, though of one nature with the fire, leap from it, uncounted beings leap from the Everlasting, but these, my son merge into It again. The Everlasting is shapeless, birthless, breathless, mindless, above everything, outside everything, inside everything.

Hall says this sounds EXACTLY like the quantum physicists' perspective on the universe.

Marc Hubbs on Remedy Grove talks about crystal data storage. Crystals like quartz are used to build microchips which can store information even when they are turned off.

Marcel Vogel

IBM research scientist for nearly 30 years with all sorts of cool patents “including a magnetic coating for 24" hard drives, phosphor technology and liquid crystal systems.” He also had some weird ideas about geometry. He thought a certain crystal shape “caused the flow and accumulation of health-promoting life-force energy in the form of negative ions.”

Micheal Gienger

Proved “unequivocally” that crystals can heal people. How? He hooked them up to a crystal that measured their auras. Putting a crystal on a persons back changed the readout. High tech stuff right here.

Dr. Masuro Emoto

Dr. Emoto performed experiments on water. In one, he played either happy or sad music to water and then froze it. Happy water made nice crystals and sad water made ugly crystals. He also put happy and sad words in the water and did the same thing.

What if you think the ugly crystals are actually beautiful? Also, his results were much easier to reach considering he through out samples which went against his hypothesis. P-hacking to the rescue!

But there is a deeper message in the happy and sad water, a message for all of humanity:

In my lectures, I talk about how water and water crystals are 10 percent goodness, 10 percent evil, and the rest — 80 percent — is opportunist. When the 10 percent that is goodness and the 10 percent that is badness in water crystals fight, then the 10 percent that is goodness wins and overpowers evilness. So, if the 10 percent of goodness would carry past that fight to the 80 percent that is opportunist, than the 80 percent will follow the goodness, not the badness. Likewise, 10 percent of people are positive and believe in this, 10 percent are skeptical, and the other 80 percent are looking to see who wins!

Naha Armady

Now to look at an article called “Crystal Healing: Is There Scientific Proof: A How-To-Series” by Naha Armady from “of the wolves”.com. The article asks “Is there any scientific proof that crystals really work?”

The article states that quartz crystal has properties such as piezoelectricity. Which is an electric charge which accumulates in specific solid materials such as crystals. This is in response to applied mechanical stress. The term itself means electricity resulting from latent heat and pressure. Armady explains that we know quartz can store huge amounts of data and that crystals are used in everything from computer chips, to cars, to watches, etc. 

So the article goes on to explain that quantum mechanics has now confirmed what metaphysicians have been saying all along: that everything is energy. The article then finishes this paragraph with this sentence, 

It is also understood that minerals do not need to be specifically ingested to be effective, and that healing is even possible across time and space.

Yet even beyond the science-y stuff, I believe there is a simpler answer to why crystals work.

He states all human beings are empathic to some degree which I’m pretty sure is incorrect. So we pick up “energetically”. from other humans, from our surroundings, from interactions and situations we find ourselves in daily. The author continues on about how we pick up on people’s “energies” when they are happy sad, judgemental or kind,

We bond and acclimate with the energies around us, so if those energies are high, clear, beautiful and positive, we are naturally going to feel good.

The next paragraph gets us back to the crystals, 

Crystals serve as teachers, showing us an example or template to attune our own behavior to. Within their structure they carry the pattern of perfection, which represents the purest form of an idea or feeling.

They are a wonder of nature, really. Just like the plant and animal kingdoms, the mineral kingdom exhibits energy. And just because we don’t completely consciously understand how it works, we know absolutely that our subconscious and our emotional and mental bodies are affected by energy.

As minerals combine they create every color you could imagine, and these colors activate things within us that we associate with that color – for instance pink with love, green with growth and violet with magic. Just as you might imagine, stones that fall in the warmer color palette (red, orange and yellow) are typically more energizing, and the cooler tones (blue, green and purple) are more calming. It’s simple color therapy. Therefore, you use them accordingly, for instance placing an energizing stone in the office, or a calming one in the bedroom. There are always exceptions, of course – if you want to spice up your love life you might want an energizing stone in the bedroom. Carnelian is a good stone for that.

Moving on to the portion of the article with the heading USING CRYSTALS AT NIGHT: Armady says, 

Speaking of bedrooms, that’s a perfect place for crystals, because they can help us while we are sleeping. When we’re in a dream-state we can be more receptive to them because our logical mind is turned off.

If you have trouble sleeping or any sleep related issues, try placing a Selenite tower on your bedside table. Selenite is fiber-optic and it catches light and reflects it back into the room. It creates a tranquil space to help with good sleep.

The author suggests if you are interested in exploring your dreams, lucid dreaming, or even receiving messages through your dreams, try placing a Labradorite stone under your pillow at night. For nightmares try Chrysoprase under your pillow or bed.

You can also place four pieces of selenite, hematite, or quartz at the four corners of your bed, creating a protective grid.

If I’ve had an emotional week, I will sleep holding onto a rose quartz, and it’s not uncommon to find I am still holding it when I wake up. Agates are also good crystals to hold during sleep. Any stone which feels comforting to hold can help you to sleep better. 

If you have an issue with continually waking up throughout the night the author suggests putting a grounding stone at the base of your bed such as Garnet, a Jasper, or a black tourmaline. 

Lastly, Armady states that to assist with detox during sleep you will want to try a piece of ocean jasper and obviously placing it under your bed. 

Make sure and rinse it off and recharge it with 20 minutes of sunlight every week or so.

All of these methods are cumulative. Fortunately, there is not much that you have to do, other than simply place the stones, be receptive to them, and let them get to work.”

In the last paragraph Armady gives us a nice summary of what we’ve not learned,

Remember that this is an energetic exchange, which means that you can care for your stones by keeping them clean, by charging them from time to time on your altar or by lighting a candle and placing them around it. The best results will come when you remember to make time for gratitude every day.

Dr. Kelly Neff

Next article is titled, “Is Science Finally Catching up to What The Ancients Knew About Crystals?" by Dr. Kelly Neff from “the mind unleashed . com”.  The article starts off, 

Despite the plethora of anecdotal evidence that exists on the healing powers of stones and crystals, the debate continues to rage in the scientific community over whether crystals actually have any real healing power.

Dr. Kelly Neff keeps it real though in continuing,

For example, a basic internet search reveals many articles claiming crystal healing to be pseudoscience. In fact, one recent study argues  that crystals have absolutely no healing power and that the placebo effect accounts for people’s healing experiences with them.

Dr. Neff first explains she is a trained research scientist. And as such, she’s naturally curious and skeptical about everything in life so she says. She loved crystals and rocks when she was a kid but was distracted from crystal power by getting her doctorate. In her late 20s, in a rough patch in her life, she says she began meditating and during these meditation sessions she would see visions of crystals. She says, “I didn’t know why, but I wanted to touch them and hold them.” She said she just brushed this aside as hallucinations nothing meaningful. 

And here we see the downward spiral of once skeptical and scientifically-minded Dr. Kelly Neff. She says, 

About six months later my boyfriend Jimmy Ohm took me to a crystal healing course taught by a Reiki Master, Thao Le, who walked us through a bunch of different stones, allowing us to hold them and perceive their energies.

In what was very much a “blind” experiment, I found that even with my eyes closed, I could feel how each stone was different, and how it resonated and vibrated in my hand. I felt something real that I could not explain or ignore.

Fast forward a few years, and I am now a complete crystal fanatic. I use them on myself during Reiki, I apply them in healing sessions for others, I sleep with them under my pillow, I grid my house out with them, I keep them in my car, and I gift them to loved ones and random strangers.

The next heading in the article is “Why do I do this?”  What’s her answer to this question she just asked herself? She says, “Because I have to trust my intuition.”  Then she becomes plagued by her old skeptical, scientifically-minded past and goes on,

Maybe this is just the placebo effect and these crystals that resonate so deeply with me are just dumb rocks”, But then in true crystal power form she goes back to “her truth” here - “but on some deeper, spiritual level, I know that this is not the case.

Some people might criticize me for this perspective or call it pseudoscience, but I bet those same people are reading this article right now on their device’s LCD screen (which stands for Liquid CRYSTAL display), which is powered by a processor chip made of SILICON (an element derived or synthesized from silicate minerals in the earth’s crust, AKA, crystals). So are crystals just random rocks? Or are they are some of the most powerful and intriguing materials on this planet, necessary for the functioning of modern technology?

So here we go Dr. Neff titles the next heading “The Science of Crystals” 

Crystals are millions of years old, forged during the earliest parts of earth’s formation. They are the most orderly structure that exists in nature, meaning they have the lowest amount of entropy (a measurement for disorder). Crystals are structured in such a way that they respond to the inputs of all different energies around them, leading them to oscillate and emit specific vibratory frequencies. Because the crystal lattice is so balanced and orderly, the energy it emits is consistent, and when dissonant energy is inputted, it is balanced and transformed into a harmonic energy. (Note: I am a psychologist, not a physicist, so for more specifics on the physics behind this, check out this great article by Aleph Healing).)

So the link she offers leads to yet another horribly designed website (there are so many in the crystal healing community) that doesn’t really speak to the “physics of crystals” but just more of the crystal “healie feelies”. She goes on in the article to talk about how crystals are used in our modern technology. She name drops Nikola Tesla because what’s a good article on crystal healing without dragging poor Nikola Tesla into it? She asks,

Why do crystals seem to have an impact on spiritual growth? The answer comes in the form of energy, frequency, and vibration” this is where she says Tesla says these are the key factors in understanding the universe.

She reminds us to recall under the “Science of Crystals” section she talked about oscillating vibrations and frequencies of crystals and how the human body also vibrates, as do the chakras so that when we come into contact with crystals, the crystal’s vibrations interacts with the vibrations of the cells within our own bodies.

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